Caring Messages

Caring messages are brief, gentle messages of care and support that connect people.

Stories

'This too shall pass' is my caring message to myself. I think it is important that we create our own personal caring messages.
Ghazal Admin Lead, Meet Manager
Just yesterday I was having a very crappy day and a very good friend called me after dinner.
Eric Director of Product
That act of writing that caring message really impacted my mood and my ability to show up as their teacher. My students started writing caring messages on their own.
Sarah Co‑founder, Board Member
It was hard for me to think of people who would want to hear from me.
Ursula Founder and CEO

Community Tips

My friend and I send each other texts that are just random emojis. It’s easy, and it lets me know she’s thinking of me. It feels really good when I’m having a bad day to suddenly get some random chipmunk from her, or I send her spaghetti.
I’m ADHD, so I put important dates for caring messages on my calendar. My friend told me she was going to quit a bad job on a certain day, and I put a reminder on my calendar to send her a text that day. Reminders help me reach out to people and keep them in mind when they’re not around.
I have a friend that moved across the country and it felt really hard to support her when I knew she was struggling. I sent her the silly darts game that comes with iPhones, and we started playing. That led to us sharing some short, loving texts. Now I can just randomly send her that game as a way to let her know I’m there.
I have a note that a friend gave me when I was in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. It just said ‘I like the way you use your voice like a lion. Remember you have courage’ and for some reason it kept me going at a time when I felt the most hopeless and desperate. I still have that little piece of paper‑I keep it in my wallet.
As a kid, my mom would put a sticky note in my lunchbox with a little message. It often didn’t even matter what it said; just seeing her handwriting made me feel loved. Now I do that for my own kids.
I do these when I’m feely super low. They are really easy. But I have to tell myself ‘This is about me sharing love and I’m letting go of it. I may or may not get a response and that’s okay.'

Why Use this Skill

One of the most painful parts of emotional suffering is feeling alone. Research shows that reaching out to people with caring messages can reduce loneliness and suicidal thoughts. When you’re in crisis, receiving a caring message can make all the difference. When you’re not in crisis, sending caring messages to others can help you feel more connected and hopeful.

When to Use This Skill

Use Caring Messages when:

  • You have a friend going through a tough time.
  • You want to feel closer to someone.
  • You are worried about someone’s safety (e.g., they’re feeling suicidal).
Skills

Overview Video

How to Use This Skill

To send a Caring Message to someone, offer them a brief, gentle reminder of your positive feelings for them, how you’re thinking of them, how you want the best for them, or how you’re there for them.

“Have I told you recently how much I love you?” “Your friendship means so much to me, and I’m so grateful we get to spend so much time together.” “I know you’re having a hard time right now, and I wanted to let you know I’m thinking of you. Let me know how I can help.”

Caring messages are not advice. It’s most useful to make them genuine to you, and send them repeatedly, rather than just during the times when you know the person is struggling.

Reaching out. Being there. Following up. Even briefly via text or email. All of this can make a difference!

Resources

Research and Insights on Caring Messages

Slideshow from Now Matters Now, including video clips from CBS News

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The Best Way To Save People From Suicide

Article from the Huffington Post

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Caring Messages Online Course

Free online course

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Caring Messages examples from Now Matters Now

Downloadable pdf

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How Caring Letters Help in Suicide Prevention

Article from CBS Sunday Morning News

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