Emotions as Signals

Stories

If a friend is stuck in a situation, we say things like 'you got this' and 'I believe in you', or by pinpointing their strength. We can use the same skill for ourselves when we are in those situations.

Ghazal Admin Lead, Meet Manager

Community Tips

In my culture, we have traditions around this that have been around forever.

At first I thought this skill was telling me to just accept the discrimination I’ve faced in my life. No thank you. But, saying ‘I hate the things that have happened. I wish they hadn’t happened. I’m so angry,’ helped me to set down those d*mn racists I’d been carrying around with me.

Looking at emotions as signals is a big shift for me. I started changing my thinking from I can’t handle this to I don’t know yet what my emotions are trying to say. It helped move me from fear to curiosity.

I’m still new to this, but thinking about anger as trying to protect myself helped me make sense of it.

I basically had shut off my awareness of my emotions ‑ partly my therapist thinks ‑ because it wasn’t safe to act on them as a kid. We worked on Emotions as Signals as part of my recovery (which is ongoing).

Some of my emotions signal danger when I’m safe. I try to thank them, breathe, and stay calm. I didn’t used to be safe.

Why Use this Skill

Emotions are natural, full-body experiences that give you important information. Humans evolved to feel emotions because they help us pay attention to and learn about things we like, dislike, need, and care about. If you get better at feeling your emotions and understanding how they might be trying to help you (i.e., viewing “emotions as signals”), it can make emotions less scary or overwhelming. It can greatly improve your overall well being.

When to Use This Skill

Use Emotions as Signals when:

You’re feeling an emotion.
You want to better understand yourself and your inner experiences.

How to Use This Skill

To practice “emotions as signals,” try any of the following:

View your emotions as green/red/beige flags.
- Your body tries to talk to you using emotions. You can try to think about emotions like they’re little communication flags.
- Emotions can be “green flags,” telling you what you like, what you want more of, or what is helping you.
- Emotions can be “red flags,” telling you what you dislike, what you don’t want, or what is hurting you.
- Emotions can be “beige flags,” telling you to pay attention because something important or interesting is happening.
Learn about emotions.
- Read books, watch videos, or learn more about emotions and why we feel them.
- Consider these common patterns:
  - Sadness often occurs when you’ve lost something important.
  - Happiness often occurs when you’re experiencing something you like.
  - Love often occurs when someone supports or validates you.
  - Anger often occurs when you (or a loved one) are being threatened or blocked from getting something important.
  - Guilt often occurs when you do something against your morals.
  - Fear often occurs when your wellbeing (or the wellbeing of a loved one) is in danger.
  - Shame often occurs when people you care about reject (or may reject) you.
  - Envy often occurs when there’s something you want that you don’t have.
- Check out the resources below to learn more.
Use your emotions.
- Emotions often come with physical agitation or energy. Use that energy to problem-solve, make decisions, assert yourself, take steps towards goals, and take action.
Talk to your body.
- When you feel an emotion, ask it: What are you trying to tell me? What do you want me to know?
- When you feel an emotion, thank your body for sending you important information, even if you don’t understand it right now.
- When you act on an emotion and it was helpful—like if getting angry motivated you to safely stand up to someone who was crossing your boundaries—thank your emotion and your body for their help.