Half‑Smiling / Willing Hands

Why Use this Skill

When you don’t like the way that things are, you may feel angry or frustrated about it—“It’s not fair that happened!” “They shouldn’t have said that!” You may clench your fists, tense your muscles, furrow your brow, or frown. That’s because we physically show and feel emotions in our bodies. A lot of people feel frustration in non-acceptance. Half-Smiling and Willing Hands offer body-based methods for relaxing your body and acting opposite to that frustration. They can help you practice radical acceptance.

When to Use This Skill

Use Half-Smiling or Willing Hands when:

• You want to practice radical acceptance.
• You’re in the middle of a tough situation and need help coping.
• You want to practice opposite action to anger.

How to Use This Skill

Half-Smiling and Willing Hands are two body-based ways to act opposite to the body language common in anger.

You can practice these skills together, or one at a time.

You can practice these skills while using other distress tolerance skills, or use them alone.

To practice Half-Smiling, act opposite to grimacing or furrowing your brow:

• Relax your face entirely. Unclench your jaw. Smooth your forehead. Soften your eyes and mouth.
• Turn up the corners of your mouth ever so slightly into a “half-smile.” (Think: Mona Lisa, not Cheshire Cat.)
• Try to hold a soft, serene expression. Re-relax as much as you need.

To practice Willing Hands:

• Relax your shoulders, arms, and hands. Unclench your fits and uncross your arms.
• If you’re sitting, place your hands on your lap, palms up.
• If you’re standing, drop your arms to your sides, then bend your arms at the elbow until your forearms are parallel to the ground, and turn your palms up.
• If you’re lying down, place your arms by your side, and turn your palms up.
• Keep your palms facing up, relaxing your fingers. Breathe deeply. Use your body to communicate “I am willing to face whatever is true right now.”