Safety Plan

Why Use this Skill

Sometimes life feels like hell. In these moments, when you’re most upset, you can’t think clearly. Preparing your Safety Plan ahead of time helps you not have to think when you’re in crisis, and it helps you protect your physical and emotional wellbeing. That’s why Safety Planning is an essential skill for Choice 1: Survive.

When to Use This Skill

Prepare Safety Plans ahead of time for times when:

• You want to kill yourself, or are having suicidal thoughts.
• You feel stressed out of your mind, or like you’re “on fire” emotionally and in the red zone.
• You want to use, drink, self-sabotage, or otherwise hurt yourself.

How to Use This Skill

It’s important that you craft your Safety Plan before you need it.

Safety Plans lay out the specific steps you can take when you’re feeling suicidal or super stressed and want to take care of yourself. To create a Safety Plan, you’ll clearly write out these steps on a piece of paper or on a note on your computer/phone—wherever you can read it easily when you need it!

Everybody’s Safety Plan looks a bit different. There’s no one way to use this skill. Below are instructions on the basic recommended structure, as well as some resources and tips for crafting your unique Plan.

Sometimes, making a Safety Plan can feel upsetting or overwhelming. Feel free to take breaks and to ask for help as you go through it. A licensed therapist can be particularly helpful for crafting safety plans.

The six things/steps that people usually include on their safety plans are:

1) Warning signs.

How will I know I need to use my safety plan?

Sometimes, when you’re in crisis, all you know is that you’re in pain and that you want it to stop. You might not realize that you’re unsafe. Help yourself by identifying “warning signs” that tell you that you’re struggling. These are the cues that, when you see them, you know you need to use your safety plan.

In this section, list your unique warning signs that it’s time to use your safety plan.

• Tips:
  • Think about when you’ve been most overwhelmed in your life before. What emotions were you feeling? What thoughts were you having? What physical sensations were you experiencing? What things did you do that were out of your normal? Have other people told you ways you act differently when you’re going through super stressful times?
  • If you’ve been suicidal before, think about those times specifically. What kinds of emotions, thoughts, sensations, or behaviors have you had before you started thinking about or taking steps towards suicide?
  • Common “warning signs” include: thinking about death, new or worse insomnia or over-sleeping, canceling dates with friends or not responding to messages, calling out sick from work a lot for mental health reasons, drinking or using drugs more often, way worse anxiety or panic, feeling trapped, having hopeless thoughts about your future.
  • Get specific with your signs when you can. Rather than “Having suicidal thoughts,” write “Having thoughts like ‘no one would miss me if I died.’” Rather than, “Feeling stressed,” write “Struggling to sleep because my thoughts race and my heart feels like it’s pounding.”

2) Reasons for living.

Why is it important to me to keep myself safe?

When life sucks and you’re most in pain, it’s easy to forget about the things about life that you like or the reasons why you want to stay alive.

In this section, list the things that make you want to stay alive or that make it important that you stay alive.

• Tips:
  • There is no “right” or “wrong” or “good” or “bad” reason for living. Every person gets to decide for themselves.
  • It can be helpful to list as many reasons as you can, but it’s also OK if you can only come up with one reason. Just don’t leave this step blank.
  • Questions you can ask yourself:
    • What (or who) gives me joy, peace, or fulfillment?
    • What (or who) would I miss if I died?
    • Who do I admire most in life? What reasons for living do I think they would give?
    • When 99% of me wants to die, and 1% wants to live, what reasons would that 1% give? Why does that part of me want to stay alive
  • Example reasons for living: wanting to find out what will happen, wanting to be the one in your family who breaks generational trauma, spiritual beliefs, responsibility for someone else’s wellbeing (like a child, pet, friend, or parent), wanting to prove someone wrong, wanting to be able to figure things out, pain I’d cause others if I killed myself, small pleasures, wanting to watch children grow, love, self-love, pride in your personal accomplishments or resilience, pride in your cultural community’s accomplishments or resilience, nature,  community connections, close relationships, wanting to achieve certain goals or experience certain things, wanting to help others, wanting to make a difference in the world.

3) Individual coping skills.

What can I do by myself to cope?

This section lists things you can do to calm down, feel better, or otherwise cope with intense stress and distress when you are alone or want to cope by yourself.

Try to include at least 3 different “individual” coping skills.

• Tips:
  • Have at least one method of Distraction.
  • Consider putting Cold Water in your Safety Plan. This skill is particularly helpful for the intense emotional and physical parts of stress.
  • Other skills that are commonly helpful: Paced Breathing. Pleasant events. Intense exercise. Self-soothing. Mindful movement. Grounding skills. Self-encouragement. Creating art.
  • Be specific. Rather than writing “I’ll watch TV,” write “I’ll watch an episode of Queer Eye on Netflix.”

4) Social coping skills.

Which people can help me cope?

Safety plans should include “social” coping skills.

In this section, list the people who could help you calm down, feel better, or stay safe. They may be friends, family members, therapists, sponsors, Now Matters Now meeting members, fellow Reddit/discord/online community members, your local barista, or anyone else who helps you feel less alone (even just a little bit).

• Tips:
  • The more people you can identify, the better. But, it’s OK if you only have one person on your list!
  • Different people in your life can be helpful in different ways.
  • Is there anyone who always makes you feel better after you talk to them about your problems? If so, include them on your safety plan as a person to text/call. You can talk to them about your suicidal thoughts or urges, or you can just talk to them about how life is hard right now.
  • Is there anyone who you always have a good time with? If so, include them on your safety plan as a person to message and ask if they want to get together. You may have no interest in talking to this person about your problems! Instead, you could talk to them about a mutual hobby, ask them to go on a walk, play an online game, or do something else fun with you. This person can just help distract you from the tough things.
  • Is there anyone who would just sit with you in silence? Is there anyone who would come over, or get with you on facetime but then not talk, just to be around? Even if you don’t talk, it can be helpful when you’re feeling overwhelmed to have someone there, so you know you’re not alone.

5) Emergency resources.

Who do I feel comfortable contacting in case of an emergency?

Sometimes, your support people will all be unavailable at the same time. Sometimes, you may know that you won’t be able to keep yourself safe without immediate help.

• Write down at least three options for 24/7, emergency, and/or professional support. Consider these options:
  • Calling or texting 988, a 24/7 national hotline for suicidal thoughts and other crises.
  • Texting MATTERS to 741741 (Crisis Text Line).
  • Finding the phone number or address to your local emergency room or crisis center.
  • Viewing the list of other international hotlines listed on NowMattersNow’s Help Now page.

6) Making your situation safer.

What can I do to make it harder to hurt myself?

One of the most useful things you can do for safety is to make it harder to do the things you may do to hurt yourself.

If you struggle with self-harm or suicidal thoughts, get rid of the things that you use (or want to use) to hurt yourself. (See “get rid of lethal means” for more ideas.)

If you struggle with addiction, get rid of drugs in your house and make it harder for yourself to get more. (See “get rid of self-destructive means” for more ideas.)

• Tips:
  • If possible, make your situation safer now. Get rid of lethal means, drugs, or other harmful things before you’re in crisis.
  • If you can’t get rid of substances/means/triggers now, write down the very specific and concrete steps for getting rid of them if/when you notice your warning signs.
  • Ask someone you trust for help with this step. A therapist, loved one, or supportive roommate may be able/willing to help you keep yourself safe (like by storing drugs for you).

Keep in mind: you don’t have to create this plan on your own!

If you have a therapist, you could create your Safety Plan with them.

If you have loved ones you trust, you could share your safety plan with them.

Safety Plans are meant to be repeatedly reviewed and renewed. Your needs, strengths, and preferences will constantly change. As you learn more coping skills or get practices using your Safety Plan, you can re-write your plan as needed.