Self‑Encouragement

Self-Encouragement is talking to yourself in any way that makes it easier to get through tough times.

Stories

As a peer supporter and mental health advocate, I've always shared advice about putting yourself first, giving yourself grace and all that jazz. Ironically, I've struggled to take my own advice.

Regina Renaye Advisor

The ways that we talk to and about ourselves actually matters far more than we might think. I think a lot of us sort of have a tendency to make jokes or comments about ourselves...that aren't particularly kind or compassionate.

Flora Lead Youth Ambassador

Community Tips

Listening to inspiring songs can be a way to encourage myself during dark times. Honestly, Imagine Dragons does it for me.

I try to practice self‑soothing whenever I’m practicing self‑encouragement. It’s acting all the way against loneliness and shame.

Grounding and Paced Breathing exercises used to lead to panic for me. Now, if I encourage myself through it, it feels less overwhelming and scary.

I can’t always get myself to say my mantras when I’m in crisis, so I recorded myself saying them. It helps me believe them way more when I can actually hear them spoken out loud.

I start to doubt myself a lot in romantic relationships. I wrote a few key lines of encouragement to myself in Facebook Messenger and pinned them so I could find them easily.

I started really simple with Just Say No! when someone would ask me to do something and I felt uneasy about it. I imagined myself waving a red flag and blocking my view.

I use self‑encouragement to get myself to do grounding and mindfulness of current emotion. I’m like a little cheerleader, telling myself we can do this together, we’ll do it together ‑ like I’m taking care of myself.

When I’m in the red, my thoughts are really cruel. I’ve started, not debating them, but responding imagining using a calm voice, like ‘Kat, that’s a thought that’s not helpful right now.’ Just that little voice can help.

I get paranoid thoughts and sometimes see people making aggressive faces at me when they may not be in reality. I tell myself something to the effect of, ‘It’s okay. These thoughts and images are scary. Notice them and keep moving forward.

Why Use this Skill

Sometimes, all we need when we’re upset is some kind words. Sadly, we won’t always be able to find a loved one when we’re in crisis. Talking to yourself with kindness and optimism, with Self-Encouragement, can make getting through hard times just a little bit easier.

When to Use This Skill

Use Self-Encouragement when:

You’re upset, in crisis, or going through a rough time.
You feel hopeless, alone, or lost.

How to Use This Skill

To practice Self-Encouragement, talk to yourself the way that you wish someone else would talk to you when you’re upset. You can pre-prepare mantras that you can say to yourself during stress.

Some common Self-Encouragement:

“This too shall pass. Right now, I only need to get through this one moment.”
“I’ve gotten through worse. I will get through this.”
“I can do this. I am strong and resilient. I believe in myself.”
“I’m going to walk you through [a skill]. We’ll take it one step at a time. We can do this.”
“My ancestors are proud of me. I am what they dreamed of.”
“I know my values are still strong, even if I feel weak right now. Let’s trust our values.”

Your mantras and self-encouraging statements might be soft, warm, and gentle. Or, they might be straightforward and blunt, as long as they’re still compassionate. There’s no one right way to talk to yourself with kindness.

Self-Encouragement will be most useful when you find something that truly resonates with you uniquely!