Self‑Soothing

Why Use this Skill

Self-soothing through your senses can help you de-stress, cope with painful emotions, and treat yourself with kindness. Many people think that just pushing through is the best way to get through tough times, and that self-criticism is the best way to improve yourself. But, research shows that self-compassion is way more effective, and self-soothing is a great way to practice self-compassion.

When to Use This Skill

Use self-soothing when:

• You’re struggling with painful emotions or difficult life situations.
• You want to practice mindfulness, self-care, rest, or embodiment.
• You’re feeling self-critical or ashamed.

How to Use This Skill

To self-soothe, do anything that feels good in your senses.

Ask yourself: what kinds of physical sensations give me pleasure? What feels nurturing, relaxing, or comforting to me?

Consider all sense experiences…

• Sight: look at pretty art, watch the sunset, go through old photos of loved ones, etc.
• Hearing: listen to your favorite music, put on ASMR, use sound machines or ear plugs, sit by running water, etc.
• Taste: eat your favorite foods, drink your favorite drinks, suck on candy, etc.
• Smell: light scented candles or incense, put on scented lotion, smell fresh flowers, etc.
• Touch: wear soft clothing, wrap yourself in a fuzzy blanket, pet your cat/dog/stuffed animal, etc.
• Pressure: use a weighted blanket, massage your temples or feet, give your loved one a tight hug, etc.
• Movement and balance: use a fidget spinner, dance, stretch, chew gum, go for a walk, sway or rock your body, hang upside down off your bed, etc.
• Temperature: put a cold or warm compress on your forehead, drink cold or warm lemon water, take a cool or warm shower, etc.

You can practice self-soothing when you’re upset—it may help you feel better. (If you’re really stressed, you may need to first use a skill designed to help with more intense emotions, like cold water.)

You also can practice self-soothing at any time, as a way to practice self-care.