Stop Drop and Roll

When you’re suicidal or feel like you’re emotionally “on fire,” Stop Drop and Roll is our go-to skill for getting through the crisis.

Stories

There are times when your emotions are at such a high level of intensity, that it feels like you’re on fire.

Flora Lead Youth Ambassador

When people are upset, it's really hard to see anything. Looking into someone's eyes can create relief.

Natalie Co‑Lead Youth Ambassador

When I use the Stop Drop and Roll, it's when I get to this place of emotional intensity, where I don't even feel stressed...where I literally don't care about me, about other people. It's like I have blinders on.

Sarah Co‑founder, Board Member

I got to this place of like, I don't care. I'm so exhausted, I'm so done. I don't care. I was having a lot of suicidal thoughts and urges.

Sarah Co‑founder, Board Member

Community Tips

I really think that when people get to an extreme level of stress ‑ it’s a way different kind of state than normal. It’s totally natural to not know what to do. Just knowing that this state is a ‘thing’ is a huge thing.

With the Stop step, I had to stop drinking immediately when thoughts of suicide showed up. I’ve put the glass down and called my best friend in 30 seconds once things turned sideways.

When it’s real bad, I’ll start the shower and get right in with my clothes on. Who gives a F‑‑k?

One time, over 20 years ago, my friend picked me up. We held hands and jumped off the lake dock in Seattle in February. It’s not deadly cold, but it’s definitely shocking. We did it three times ‑ my thoughts were so intense.

We might panic or do things we would never otherwise do to get away from super intense emotional pain. But, it’s definitely not hopeless. I’ve changed over time by using the Stop, Drop, Roll. It’s always messy.

Culturally, eye contact is tricky. I did make a commitment to myself that I would reach out and try this ‑ my friend agreed to do it. If it is life or death, I’m probably gonna make eye contact.

This skill is really about what to do when your ‘want to die’ is smothering your ‘want to live’.

I’ve been on fire emotionally and had serious suicidal thoughts ‑ at the same time. What the hell? Why would God double whammy us like that ‑ isn’t one enough? So anyway, it usually happens when I drink when things are bad. Now I just go to sleep, because I'm exhausted anyway.

I get tunnel vision. I get stuck imagining ways to escape. I need something really powerful to bring me back. I have a program: I drink a really cold glass of water, wrap up tight in a blanket and my partner lies on top of me and distracts me with random things ‑ like wacky facts or thoughts she’s never told anyone before.

I don’t feel like there is someone I’d like to ask to do this yet with ‑ the eye contact step. Instead I do it with my dog and also a photo of my grandfather who passed in 1997.

Why Use this Skill

Many people who have attempted suicide describe their attempts as happening during times of intense emotional pain, agitation, numbness, and loneliness. There are actually specific coping skills designed to help with those exact experiences!

When someone feels “on fire” during a crisis, it can feel impossible to think. People often say they wish someone would just tell them what to do so that they don’t have to think or figure it out. Stop Drop and Roll is the answer to that request, and includes the skills that can help people when they’re feeling suicidal or totally overwhelmed.

When to Use This Skill

Use Stop Drop and Roll when:

You want to kill yourself and are afraid you’re going to hurt yourself.
You feel totally overwhelmed and “on fire” emotionally or physically.
You’re having super strong cravings to use drugs, drink, binge, or act in self-destructive ways.

How to Use This Skill

Just freeze.
Change rooms. Sit on your hands. Physically step away from things you’d use to hurt yourself. Do whatever you need to do to stop yourself from acting impulsively.
Say “I’m on fire. No major decisions allowed. Just stop, drop, and roll.”

Drop your temperature by using cold water—stick your face in a bowl of ice water, drink cold water, or take a cold shower.
Drop down to sleep, if you can. Get in bed, wrap yourself in blankets, and take a nap. You can figure it out when you wake up. Don’t overdose.

Roll towards eye contact, if it’s comfortable. Find a friend or loved one to talk to in person or on FaceTime. Look them in the eye. Ask them to help you get out of your head.
Roll towards social support. Find a friend or loved one. Ask them to help you get out of your head. Do a an activity together, or just ask them to be around while you each do your own thing.

If no one’s available, use this video for eye contact. Or, call a support line. You are not alone.