Values

Why Use this Skill

If you don’t know what you want or what matters most to you, it’s going to be much harder to create a meaningful and enjoyable life. Identifying your values, and then doing things in alignment with those values, is absolutely essential if you want to feel more joy, pride, and fulfillment.

When to Use This Skill

Use Values when:

• You want to feel more joy, pride, and connection in your life.
• You want to practice self-care.
• You want to build a Life Worth Living.

How to Use This Skill

To identify your Values, you have a few options.

• Learn from other people’s values.
  • Talk to your friends about what their values are. Think about the values your parents taught you growing up. Do you want to be like them, or do you want to be different? Are the same things important to you?
  • Review lists of values and circle anything that resonates with you. (See “resources” below.) There’s no such thing as “too many” values!

• Pay attention to your emotions.
  • Use skills like Mindfulness of Current Emotion and Emotions as Signals to get more in touch with your needs and desires.
  • Notice when you feel most happy, content, peaceful, and connected. What’s happening at those times? What are you doing? Who are you with? Where are you? The answers to those questions can help you identify what is important to you, and what you want more of in your life or in the world.
  • Notice when you feel angry or hurt. What’s happening during those times? The answer to that question can help you identify what is important to you, and what you want less of in your life or in the world.

• Consider yourself in different areas of your life.
  • Separate your life into different “categories” of how you spend your time: Familial Relationships, Friend Relationships, Romantic Relationships, Community, Hobbies, Rest, Work, Education, Sexuality, Personal Growth, Health, etc.
  • For the main areas of your life, ask yourself: What matters most to me in this area? What are my strengths? What are my weaknesses? How do I determine if this part of my life is “going well” or not?
  • Your Values can likely be found in your answers to these questions.

• Think about how you want to be perceived.
  • What are the words that you hope people use to describe you?
  • What are the things you want to be known for?
  • If you feel comfortable, think about your funeral. What would you want said about you in your eulogy? How do you want to be remembered?
  • Your hopes of how you want to be perceived may give you clues about what your strongest values are.