There is a specific emotional state we call being “On Fire." The causes vary, but how it is experienced is often described as:
– A full body emotional reaction
– Being a 10 out of 10 for emotional intensity
– Overwhelming emotional pain and physical discomfort
Which can lead to
Urges to take an action that you would not otherwise take
Difficulty thinking clearly and distorted thinking
Believing that it will never end and/or it has always been this way
A focus solely on escape or getting the feeling to stop
Young people can experience this state more often than adults – and unfortunately, are much less prepared to manage these emotions.
Unplanned suicide attempts are one of the worst outcomes of being emotionally on fire.
Emotional fires are not unlike physical fires
Akin to learning to “Stop, Drop, and Roll” for when we are literally on fire, we’ve developed short instructions for surviving the physiological aspects of intense emotion, cognitive errors, panic, and myopic focus associated with being emotionally “on fire.”
Stop, Drop, and Roll can be used by anyone experiencing a heightened emotional state who feels at risk of losing control. This can be applied by schools to serve children experiencing big feelings, by organizations aiming to prevent workplace accidents, in domestic violence situations, other forms of self-harm, and countless other situations.
What do you do if you are emotionally on fire?
Step 1: STOP
STOP making major decisions
Stop use of drugs and alcohol.
Wait 24 to 48 hours and until stress is lower.
The first step advises against making important decisions, acknowledging that such decisions may be influenced in acute states of emotional distress. This directive aims to enter consciousness even amid overwhelming emotional suffering.
Step 2: DROP
DROP your temperature
Plunge your face into cold water and hold your breath for 3 sets of 30 seconds.
Variations:
- Drink a cold glass of water
- Take an ice cold shower
The second step attempts to immediately reduce emotional arousal, similar to removing oxygen from a fire. Research incorporating the vagal nerve and the mammalian dive reflex indicates that cold water is one of the most effective known ways to rapidly reduce physiological and emotional arousal. Individuals may get in the shower and turn it to cold, for example, or put their face in ice water; a “reset” button that slows things down.
STEP 3: ROLL
ROLL your eyes towards eye contact
Find someone and make eye contact. Ask them to distract you.
Variations:
- Video call someone
- Look into the eyes of your pet
- Look at a photograph of a loved one
The third suggested step is human contact, specifically eye contact. Although not appropriate in all situations or some cultural contexts, eye contact constitutes a potent emotional stimulus, potentially evoking emotions distinct from those contributing to suicidal thoughts. In addition to maintaining eye contact, the individual on fire should ask the other person to “help me get out of my head” to facilitate further distraction.
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